Saturday, January 10, 2009

Obama's campaign was about me? P.S. Sarah Palin still must be destroyed. And are Obama's pillows fluffed properly?

So, David Frum, while eviscerating Sarah Palin for daring to *gasp* hit back against a media that believes her son Trig isn't really hers (and that she probably caused the Holocaust, global warming, and Hurricane Katrina along with Bush)....

And while joining the rest of the CINOs (Conservatives in Name Only) and libs in reminding Palin that she's still a dumb hick who ought to find a good toilet to shove her head in...

While Frum was at that whole game, he had this to say about Obama's campaign.

"Through the 2008 election, Barack Obama repeatedly said ‘It’s not about me. It’s about you.’ Exactly so."

Really, David?

Obama's campaign was about me?

The man had his own Presidential seal, before he had even won.

The man has his own Presidential seal, before he has even taken office.

The man has his own hand symbol.

The man has two of his own memoirs. At the ripe old age of 47.

The man had his own infomercial, which Major League Baseball graciously agreed to move a World Series game for.

I can’t go to a single solitary store without seeing the man’s face plastered all over memorabilia.

The man has his own “Super Obama” commemorative t-shirt.

The man has his own special edition Spiderman comic.

The man had his own presidential coin, again, before he had won.

The man declared that HIS election would, by itself, cause the ocean levels to recede. (Man can and is destroying the world with global warming, you see. But it'll all magically stop once Obama parts ALL the seas.)

The man encouraged his supporters to be sure to tell their jobs to screw off for an entire day, so that they could bask in his glory.

The man CHARGED REPORTERS for the right to partake in said glory on election night.

And yet, somehow, Obama’s campaign is about me?

And not about him?

To be sure, not all of these items are Obama's direct doing.

Some are those of his cult, who take the "oceans receding" thing literally.

But he's not exactly discouraging them, is he?

I can't even get away from the man on frickin' Facebook.

He's everywhere.

Oh, but it's ok, because it was really all about me.

Not about him.

Oh, and Frummy?

"It's pretty bad when even your supporters call you ignorant."

I'm still waiting to have it explained to me just what the "stupid dumb hick Palin who should go find a toilet to shove her face in" did to deserve said label.

(I mean, aside from being a successful conservative woman who doesn't destroy the parasite growing within her just because it might inconvenience her career. Oh, and to think, the "encumbrance" had the audacity to be born with Down syndrome. Talk to Alan Colmes about preventing that one. He's the expert on pre-natal vitamins, after all.

We all know that liberal women are the only ones who get to have it all, the choice to kill the baby, or have the baby AND the career plus lifetime welfare payments, or even to be considered qualified for the Senate just because your last name is Kennedy.**

Conservative idiots like Palin? Get in the kitchen, you dumb bitch. Oh, and why didn't you murder your babies? You can't be in public office and raise a family too. Only liberal women can do that.)

Is it the "you knows" and the "I'll betchas"?

Cuz, call me crazy, but I hear a lot of pauses, and "uhhs" and crickets and "ohhhs" and "UUMMMMMSSSSS" coming from the Messiah when he isn't on script. (I thought George Bush was the horrendous speaker whose strings were being pulled...)

Is it the "do you agree with the Bush Doctrine" thing?

Because she had the audacity to ask "in what respect", to a concept which was never explicitly defined by George W. himself?

Oh sure, he said "you're either with us or against us."

But HE didn't call ANYTHING "the Bush doctrine." The media came up with that. And by all means, look it up anywhere and find an explicit, four lines or less definition for me. I'll still be here when you get back.

I mean, how DARE Palin ask for clarification. Oh the nerve.


I echo Charles Krauthammer's words.

"The New York Times got it wrong. And Charlie Gibson got it wrong.

There is no single meaning of the Bush doctrine. In fact, there have been four distinct meanings, each one succeeding another over the eight years of this administration — and the one Charlie Gibson cited is not the one in common usage today. It is utterly different.")

And hey, how was Obama's answer on that question?

OH WAIT......("Senator Obama, this is the most important question of the day. What's on your Ipod?")

Is it the blanking on the "name two Supreme Court cases you disagree with" question?

A gaffe, to be sure.

How was Obama's answer to that question?

............("Mr. Obama, the American people really really need to know this. Boxers or briefs?")

Is it the "I can see Russia from my house" thing?

Oh, it's not like they edited the airing to take away part of that answer from Palin. OH HEAVENS NO.....

(And as EVERYONE knows, a community organizer, naturally, has foreign policy credentials. Those Chicago neighborhoods really ARE that bad.)

The Obama cultists know a thing or two about blind unreasonable fanatical hero worship, so I suppose I ought to take them seriously when they tell me that I'M the insane one supporting the empty suit.

(Or, in Palin's case, the dumb hick and hey, whaddayaknow, there's a toilet. She's got insults on her from A to Z. "Cunt" t-shirts are just the beginning. Take your pick: From A-Z, the things people say about Sarah Palin. [Kudos to the column's author, Tunku Varadarajan.]

"Airhead", "turncoat bitch", "Caribou Barbie", "disgrace to women", "dangerous", "ditz", "disabled", "dysfunctional", "extremist", "fatal cancer", "[should be] gang-rape[d]", "her greatest hypocrisy is her pretense that she is a woman", "idiot", "ignorant", "Jesus Freak", "kook", "liar", "librarian in a porn film", "man with a vagina", "merciless predator", "McCain's mean girl", "national joke", "opportunist", "pretty little gaffe machine", "[makes one] queasy", "Republican blowup doll", "reactionary", "rube", "sputtering, ramshackle, motorbike repaired in the backyard that is the Sarah Palin candidacy", "scary", "stewardess", "female Sancho Panza", "time bomb", "terrible woman from Alaska", "trailer trash", "Uncle Woman", "VILF", "whore", "xenophobic", "yokel", "zealot."

Truly a remarkable showing from the architects of "compassion" and "tolerance."

We're the "bitter gun clingers."

I've got a catchy phrase for the Left.

"'Compassionate' baby brain scramblers."

P.S. Especially if it's a black baby. We can rationalize ANYTHING. We're the rational ones, you see, not those awful Bible thumpin' righties.

Oh, I know, I know. You're outraged. I'm the outrage.

Murdering babies? Killing black babies at many times the rate of their white counterparts? THAT'S "CHOICE."

The decision to eat trans fats, or what school your kids get to attend.


But "encumbrance" removal is.)

No, I don't think Palin is perfect, and should she try for national office again, I hope to see her learn from the missteps on this campaign. (She's already money ahead by shedding the biggest misstep of them all, John McCain. How nice of his guys to give her the finger on their way out. Yeah, it's her fault you lost. You ran a BRILLIANT campaign, after all. And those excited crowds TOTALLY would have showed up for Romney, Huckabee, Cantor, Guiliani, Thompson, or, WHAT THE HELL, Lieberman.

Since the way to win is apparently to be exactly like Democrats, Liebs would have lead to a landslide for sure.)

I don't think Palin is God, the Messiah, or The One. (That's Barack Obama. DUH.)

But it sure would be nice if we held Barack Obama, the Most Merciful Lord Messiah, to any semblance of the same standard we hold Sarah Palin.

Because, you know, I'm still waiting to know the names of the eight states that recently joined the Union.

Barack visited all 58 states after all, so he outta know.

I'm still waiting for someone to ask Barack why deficit spending to stimulate the economy is now magically a good thing, when Hitler, er, Bush was chastised by the same Democrats for "the highest spending since Gerald Ford."

(Thank you, Madam Speaker.***

Oh, and way to show true class during Dick Cheney's certification of the election results. I'll be sure to tell my kids when they're two years old to bolt out of their chairs to give themselves a hand. It'll be the perfectly mature thing for them to do at that age.)

I'm still waiting for someone to ask Barack Obama why his incoming administration now plans on meeting with Hamas, when he said this in April:

" We must not negotiate with a terrorist group intent on Israel’s destruction. We should only sit down with Hamas if they renounce terrorism, recognize Israel’s right to exist and abide by past agreements.”

“Hamas is not a state. Hamas is a terrorist organization."

Your friendly neighborhood Jihadis who use women and children as human shields and dead propaganda pieces will get RIGHT ON that whole "recognizing Israel's right to exist" thing.

I'm still waiting for someone to ask Obama what he knew, and when did he know it ,about Governor Blagojevich and the Senate seat.

Because, I'm SURE, if Bush, McCain, or Palin's own report cleared THEM, that would TOTALLY BE ENOUGH. (For the record, I doubt Obama had anything to do with it. It'd be pretty damned sloppy if he did. But hey, why bother grilling him about it at all? He didn't know anything about it, OK??? Ask him if his pillows are fluffed properly.)

I'm still waiting for someone to explain to Biden that J-O-B-S has four letters, not three.

Because, you know, Keith Olbermann would NEVER have bothered Palin about that little detail.

I'm still waiting for someone to ask Biden to retell the story of how FDR went on television after the stock market crash in 1929 to reassure the American people. Honestly, Hoover must have been pretty damned annoyed with him. (But OH SO impressed at that magic "not yet invented" gizmo FDR was broadcasting with.)

I'm sure SNL would have let that one slide if the dumb hick from Alaska had showed, (what's that phrase Frummy?) such a lack of a "well-informed worldview."

I'm still waiting for someone to ask Biden to regale the nation with the tale of how we "kicked Hezbollah out of Lebanon", as the Vice President Elect intoned during the debate.

I'll defer to the incomparable Jonah Goldberg on this one.

Biden, the Master Gasbag

According to the master senator, the U.S. and France “kicked Hezbollah out of Lebanon.” Afterward, according to Biden, “I said and Barack said, ‘Move NATO forces in there. Fill the vacuum, because if you don’t ... Hezbollah will control it.’” Perhaps Biden meant to say the U.S. and France kicked Syria out of Lebanon. But even this is woefully glib. Syria never fully abandoned Lebanon. And there was no “vacuum” for Hezbollah to fill. The terrorist group was already firmly in control of southern Lebanon and part of the government. No one remembers Biden and Obama fighting for the stupidly impossible NATO move either.

And hey, while I'm at it, it'd be right "doing their job" for any reporter to have followed up with Biden on these.

Biden insisted it’s “just simply not true” that Obama has said he’d “sit down with (Iranian President Mahmoud) Ahmadinejad,” even though in the primaries Biden criticized Obama for exactly that.

Biden bragged about how he and Obama have focused on Pakistan, insisting that “Pakistan’s weapons can already hit Israel and the Mediterranean.” Um, no. Their missiles couldn’t get halfway there.

Biden suggested he spearheaded the effort to save “tens of thousands of lives in Bosnia.” He was actually more of a bit player.

The constitutional law professor mocked Dick Cheney because the vice president “doesn’t realize that Article I of the Constitution defines the role of the vice president. That’s the executive branch.” Wrong. Article I defines the Legislature, Article II the executive branch. Both define the role of the VP.

He flatly said that McCain voted with Obama on a tax hike. He didn’t. He said McCain’s health-care plan amounted to a tax hike. It doesn’t. Biden said we “must” drill for oil, but that ain’t how he’s voted. He said he’s for clean coal, but just this month he passionately told a voter, “We’re not supporting clean coal,” and vowed “no coal plants here in America.” The scrapper from Scranton boasted about bonding with the common folks at a restaurant that’s been closed for two decades.

But hey, only dumb conservative women from Alaska who need to find a toilet to stick their heads into need receive any tough questions.

Members of Michelle Obama's "smart people" club, like Joe Biden?

Such "master senators" (thank you Associated Press) will be happy to tell you what brand of dog food they prefer.

(By the way AP, do I owe you for those two words?)

Two months after the election, this much is clear to me.

Palin still is a threat to the Left, and like Clarence Thomas, they will stop at nothing to destroy her. (And, apparently, those who think they're on the Right, who believe the Democrat way is the way for Republicans to win. We reach out to the Center by co-opting Democrat ideas and talking points.

Hey, it worked SO WELL for Reagan, right?* GO FOR IT, guys.)

And journalism, which has been on its last legs for some time now, has now slipped into a terminal coma.

And it will die on January 20th, 2009.


Happy Friggin' New Year.

*Yes, for God's sake, that was sarcasm.

**Oh, and before anyone starts the "HOW ABOUT THIS??!!!!!"

I know all about Palin herself saying that Caroline Kennedy is "qualified" for the Senate seat.

See, lefties? While you gleefully celebrate an attempted physical assault on George W. Bush, Palin knows how to practice a little thing called "class." This is, after all, the woman who reached out to Hillary Clinton and Geraldine Ferraro in her VP nomination acceptance.

I'd encourage you childish sycophants to learn a thing or two about it, but that would be pointless.

Study Sarah Palin, your stupid hick from Alaska, while you're doing everything in your power to tear her down.

Little tip from me to you?

She's a far better human being than you'll ever be.

*** Oh, and if you're wondering where I heard this, I heard Nancy Pelosi say this herself on the radio. One of the hourly news updates.

It's up to you whether or not to believe me.

But my name's not Joe Biden, so I try to avoid making everything up as I go along.

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